Some Thoughts of the Day

I am somewhat of a sarcastic person.
It is a defense mechanism.
Pushes concepts and people further away.

Whenever death  is brought up, if it is applicable, I'll say
"I'm dying, we all are. Dying of life"
It is suposed to stir thoughts I suppose, but all it is is a trick to avoid the thoughts it stirs.

I like to believe I am Jaded towards death.
To pretend I can look in to its cold (or perhaps warm) eyes fearless
And I do work at being level about it,
however sometimes i wonder if it is just the cardboard replica I am unafraid of.

Things only have the power we give them over us, but that doesn't lessen the consequences.

Thinking about this due to the afore mentioned Wonderful Book.

Capitalizing Lonely "i"s is Overrated.

I have done nearly all of my writing the last two years not in orange, but in green ink.
It may be a contradiction to the title of this blog (though i do not keep the type color orange, so clearly this is a more symbolic and less literal title) however the main idea is 'penned not in black' i have come to realize, which doesn't seem to make as good a title.
Also, my title and i are in bit of a committed relationship. its not even because we created an email together (though we care a lot about our email, and are going to take good care of it), we just have the kind of relationship that sticks together.

Anyways, i say all this to note that i received colored pens for christmas, and among them was an orange pen. It has been interesting to actually write in orange again.

On to other more interesting (in theory) topics.
I am reading The Fault in Our Stars. I trust you all know what i am talking about. if not, you best go find out. I love John Green, and am very happy with the book. In a couple of weeks I will be attending the local tour stop, and am very excited to actually be in real life with John and Hank.

I thought I had something better for you all than funny sentences about titles and excitement about a book that I recommend for all (though I have yet to finish it). My ideas seemed to have drained away...

Perhaps I'll just write a list of likes and loves. That is what I feel like.

If you feel so inclined, leave your own list in the comments. Or don't. Your choice.

I love socks, fun colored and patterned socks.
I love my slippers, I've never been much of a slippers person, but these slippers were a gift from my roommate, and they are so warm.
I love my blue hat. It is a cable knit beanie with a brim. It is my one hat pretty much, and while I have an insatiable desire to find the right look, and thus want to find more hats, this one does such a good job i have yet to go about actually getting another hat. I could probably write a whole post about my hat, however i will hold back.
I love reading, and getting really zoned in on the story, forgetting about time and place if I'm lucky.
I love the freedom in close relationships, to act weird, and say things you might not mean but certainly feel, and to still be accepted.

The afore mentioned slippers. Bonus, socks.

That is my list.
And this is a post.

Fragmentation

There is something irresistibly intriguing about lonely people. Lonely people who though they are lonely, are completely absorbed in their own activities, who seem like they don't require others.
I was thinking this as I watched the beginning of what turned out to be a rather strange movie.
There is a mystery about contented loneliness.
It begs me to discover its secrets.

Taken on the *Washington* coast.

I am not good at writing consistently, if you've been here before you're aware of that. I started writing this post a couple weeks ago, and am only now returning to it. 

I'm just not sure what to share. There are thoughts but they seem to melt away when I try to write them.

My third grade english teacher told me that I did write my thoughts in order, and told me i should try to group similar ideas in the same paragraph. And there began my tendency towards fragmentation. Word is constantly alerting me that what I just left as a sentence is actually a fragment. All of that is said to explain why I am not bothering to make this post flow, its fighting nature, and today Smokey just isn't up for it.

The last couple days I've been watching a lot of Meekakitty on youtube. 

Watching too much youtube makes me question my identity, yet gives me ideas and hope at the same time.

I fly home (back to school) in a couple days. I'm quite looking forward to reading on the plane.

Currently I'm reading The Picture of Dorian Gray I'm not too far in because I didn't want to finish it and have nothing left to read at the airport. 

Once I get to school, I am excited that my Pre-Ordered copy of The Fault In Our Stars is waiting for me (along with the need to purchase an all too expensive business textbook, rahrg).  So I suppose I should hurry to finish Dorian Gray before then, or it shall be postponed. 

Being around my family this break has reminded me of why I want to write a book someday. Oh the hopes and dreams. 

Thank you for reading.